DBT Made Simple by Sheri Van Dijk

Author:Sheri Van Dijk [Van Dijk, Sheri]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2020-11-29T03:11:46.382000+00:00

C H A P T E R 7

Helping Clients Reduce

Emotional Reactivity

Up to this point in part 2 of the book, we’ve looked at skil s to help clients become more mindful so they can manage their emotions more effectively. This chapter continues in the same vein by explor-ing the three different thinking styles we all have and how they influence whether clients continue to react from their emotions or learn how to manage their emotions more effectively. I’ll also discuss some lifestyle changes that can help clients reduce their vulnerability to their emotions.

THREE STYLES OF THINKING

Linehan (1993b) outlines three states of mind, or ways we have of thinking about things: the reasoning self, the emotional self, and the wise self. I usual y find it most effective to teach clients about these styles of thinking right after the mindfulness skil s, as this furthers the process of increasing clients’ self-awareness.

The Reasoning Self

When teaching clients about the three styles of thinking, I first describe the reasoning self: the part of ourselves that we use when we’re thinking logical y or reasoning something out. When we use this part of ourselves, there are few or no emotions involved. If there are emotions present, they don’t significantly influence how we behave. Rather, the focus is on thinking logical y about something: organizing your day at work, leaving instructions for the babysitter, deciding whether you should drive or take the subway to work, taking minutes at a meeting, and so on.

DBT Made Simple

Give clients some examples and then ask them to think of some times when they acted from their reasoning self. This may take a while and you may need to help, but clients can usual y come up with at least one example.

The Emotional Self

Most clients don’t have difficulties coming up with examples of times when they’ve acted from their emotional self—the part that often gets us into trouble, as our behaviors are control ed by the emotion we’re feeling in the moment. I give clients some general examples, such as feeling angry and lashing out at someone, feeling anxious and avoiding whatever is causing the anxiety, or feeling depressed and withdrawing and isolating. Then I ask clients to think of some examples of their own: When have they acted from their emotional self? Usual y clients can relate to this thinking style and examples come to them easily. If not, you’ve probably learned enough about a given client and why he’s coming for treatment to prompt him with some examples.

The Wise Self

The difficulty often lies in getting clients to see that they have a wise self, which is the combination of the reasoning self, the emotional self, and intuition (Linehan, 1993b). In other words, we feel our emotions and are still able to think straight, and we weigh the consequences of our actions and choose to act in a way that’s in our best interests in the long run, even if that means behaving in a way that’s quite difficult. Again,

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